Little Miss Personality

One of my favorite things about being a mom is watching Audia's (and soon, Callen's!) personality develop before my eyes. I have always been fascinated by people in general, in psychology and what makes different people tick. This fascination is multiplied by about a million when it comes to my own child(ren).

There is no denying that Audia is an absolute sweetheart. She loves snuggling and giving hugs and kisses to people she is comfortable with, and I know I've mentioned before that she says "I love you" about a hundred times a day (and that is honestly not an exaggeration.) She genuinely seems to care about how people are feeling and always gets very concerned if someone hurts themself or is sick. She regularly asks "Are you happy?" and if you answer yes but aren't smiling when you say yes, she'll say "Then how come you're not smiling?"

She also absolutely LOVES to tease and be teased. She loves to act silly and say silly things to get people to laugh. Anyone who knows Chris and me knows that we are jokesters at heart; we love being silly and teasing eachother, so this trait in Audia is no huge suprise. However, it does suprise me that someone so young can be so GOOD at teasing! She has become a master at being totally convincing in telling Chris that she has a secret to tell him and then giving him a wet willy when he leans in to hear it.

Another thing that everyone that spends time with Audia comments on is what a performer she is. There is no denying that this girl LOVES to put on a performance for anyone who will watch. Everything from acting to dancing to singing. Add to that an off-the-charts active imagination and she is just a ball of entertainment. Even when she doesn't know anyone is watching, she acts out scenes (usually conversations that we've had with her or things that we've read to her about in books) with herself in front of her mirror or with her stuffed animals or little plastic characters. I can't wait to see where this will take her in life...I imagine a future with at least some involvement in dance or music or acting....anything that can get her up on stage.

I am so anxious to see how Callen's personality compares to Audia. The debate between nature and nurture is always in the back of my mind: is she learning these things from us, or is this just how she is? And I can't wait to see how Callen and Audia interact and feed off of each others' personalities. I have no doubt that there will be some struggles in the beginning, but I also think that Audia is going to be a fantastic big sister to Callen. She already is talking about how she's going to hold him if he cries and is going to help change his diapers. I am so excited to see her grow into a big sister!

Third Trimester Infirmity

As per usual, I hesitate to complain, here or elsewhere. Typically when I'm ill or feeling grumpy, I keep my complaints to myself and to those closest to me. But I have a threshold where, when reached, I feel like I need to vent. The logical part of me hates this side of myself. Complaining really doesn't get me anywhere, and I know it. I absolutely know that I am luckier than many, that there are a lot of people who have it far worse off than I do, and that I should count my blessings. And I do. I am immensely grateful for everything that I do have. I am immensely grateful that things aren't worse than they are. That said, I literally can barely move at the moment. Every time I shift my weight, or try to get up or sit down, or god forbid, try to walk, I feel like someone is twisting a knife into my SI joint. I have a fairly high threshold for pain, but this pain actually catches my breath. The narcotic pain reliever that my doctor prescribed when I started experiencing these problems (and which, for the record, I only take when it gets this bad) isn't even touching the pain. The stretches that worked in my first and second trimesters do nothing because my belly is too large for me to do them properly. Heat and ice do nothing. The SI belt that I purchased, while I do think it helps to a degree, obviously doesn't help enough. I am, practically speaking, immobile. And what did I do to bring on this level of discomfort? I went to the mall. For about 2 hours. That, my friends, is all. A simple trip to the mall with Chris and Audia yesterday has rendered me entirely immobile for 24 hours now. 
You read in pregnancy "guide" books that the third trimester is the hardest, and while I agreed with that statement in my first pregnancy, this pregnancy makes the first seem like a cake walk. I by no means want Callen to be born before he is ready to be born. But I am beyond ready for him to be ready. I am so done with not being able to do the normal, day-to-day things that I want to be doing. And I am feeling so guilty that Audia is essentially as home-bound as I am these days. Not to mention that today is Chris' birthday and we can't go out to do anything to celebrate because I can barely walk.

One month left. One month left. One month left......

5 Years

Five Years ago today, on an almost record-settingly HOT day in Phoenix, AZ, surrounded by our wonderful friends and family, Chris made me the happiest girl in the world. Despite the heat, the day couldn't have been more perfect short of being able to slow down time and enjoy every minute a bit longer.

Like any couple, Chris and I have had some hiccups throughout our relationship (especially early on) but the one thing that has remained strong through it all is our unshakable friendship. He is, really and truly, my absolute best friend. I can't think of anyone I would rather travel the roads of life with. I love you so much, Über! Happy Anniversary!

Cherished Moments

Most mornings, anywhere between 6:30 and 7:30, Audia will get up and crawl into bed with me. Some days she'll fall right back asleep and sleep for an hour or two, other mornings she'll snuggle with me for a few minutes and then want to get up. Either way, I find myself thinking, every morning, how lucky I am to have these quiet, snuggly, special times with my sweet girl. Who knows when she'll decide that she doesn't want/need them anymore, and who knows how they will change once Callen is here.

This morning, after crawling into bed with me at 6:30, she slept a little later than usual. We didn't have anyplace to be so I decided to let her sleep as I went to get the coffee started. As I'm putzing in the kitchen, I hear her sweet, sleepy voice call out for me. "I'll be right there, munchkin. I'm just getting the coffee ready," I say. "Is it daytime or nighttime?" she asks. "Daytime. You slept late this morning!" Her response melted my heart. "But can we still snuggle for a while before we get out of bed, Mommy?" I wanted to cry.
Audia Suzanne, of course we can still snuggle. I will always and forever make time to snuggle with you. Even when you think you're too old to snuggle with your mom, I am sure I will try to bribe you to snuggle with me anyways. I love you more than words, my sweet, sweet girl!

Perception VS Reality

There is no denying that parenthood is a life-altering thing. But not just because suddenly your life is filled with diapers and bottles and messes and discipline and all of those things you think of when you think about having a child. It is also life-altering ways you have no hint or foreshadowing of. More specifically, I'm referring to the way your perception of things change. Some of these changes are gradual, and some are extremely abrupt. No matter the speed or strength with which these perceptions change, however, I still find myself marveling, every time, at how much a child changes your world.

Audia was a planned baby. I can still remember chatting with Chris over beers about whether or not we felt ready for kids, and going over the details of both of our life goals and wishes and where kids fell into that. I remember the excitement I felt as we both came to the agreement that we were financially ready, both with steady, dependable jobs, and that we were definitely both emotionally ready for the "leap" into parenthood. Two months later we were officially on the road to becoming parents. Our plan was to stay in AZ for another 3-5 years, moving back to MN when Audia was getting ready to start school. I would reduce hours at work and Chris would arrange his schedule so that while we both kept our jobs, Audia would not need to go into daycare. We would maybe try again for another child around the time that we moved to MN, though plans that far down the road were flexible and up in the air. Then the recession hit right around the time Audia was born. I was laid off two months after her birth, and Chris' work all but slowed to a halt. We were forced to move across country to Minnesota, and in with my parents, when Audia was only 8 months old. Our plans drastically changed. Our perception of how our lives would be was in total limbo; to say that it was dramatically altered is an understatement. But thanks to some amazingly supportive family and to the unshakable friendship that our marriage is based on, Chris and I managed to get through the next year and a half of scraping pennies, job hunting, and living in extremely tight quarters with very little suffering. Not to mention the silver lining....Audia had the benefit of developing an extremely close relationship with my parents thanks to our living with them for 18 months, which is something that I will be forever grateful for. Admittedly, I've always placed having kids before home ownership and my career on my list of life goals because my parents are older and it's always been a worry of mine that if I wait too long to have children, they wouldn't have the chance to develop a memorable, meaningful relationship with them. Point is, that life path that Chris and I chatted about three and a half years ago is for the most part just a memory. But I like the path we're on now just as much, if not better.

A more recent and smaller perception change that I've had occur is my desire to have a May baby. Haha. I've always said that the last month I want to have a baby is May. May has always been a crazy-hectic month for my family, and is even more-so since I married Chris. We have mother's day, four family birthdays, our anniversary, and memorial day. Not to mention 3 friends' birthdays. So, no May babies was my rule. Now, however, that I am 34 weeks along and really feeling the stress this pregnancy is putting on my body, I am all for a May baby. Join in the fun, Callen! As long as you're healthy and ready to breathe on your own, of course.
I get asked a lot how I'm feeling. And my answer is usually "pretty good." For the most part, I feel fine. Except when I try to do any amount of walking that extends beyond from room-to-room in our apartment. Then all of the bones and joints surrounding my pelvis and the base of my spine start to groan, then whine, and eventually scream at me to stop. Something as simple as a trip to Target can render me pretty much immobile for an entire day. And don't even get me started on the pain that is generated by trying to roll over in bed. The SI belt that my physical therapist recommended helps (I think?) to a degree, but not enough. There is also, of course, the quintessential exhaustion and being short of breath constantly, and heartburn after eating more than a cup of food at a time. But those things really don't bother me that much. It's the pain that I am ready to be done with. And it's the pain that will probably keep me from getting pregnant again. Unless, of course, my perception changes with time (which I'm sure it will.)

Spring Fever

Spring has been a bit wishy-washy for us this year. I have been joking that Mother Nature has developed a sudden case of bi-polarism, and we need to find a way to get her to take some lithium to curb it. It'll be in the 60's and sunny for a couple of days and then we'll get SNOW. Seriously, Mom N. It's almost May. As much as I love the snow in the winter, and roll my eyes at people who complain about it then, I have jumped on the complaining bandwagon now. April showers are supposed to bring May flowers. When those showers involve SNOW, I am pretty sure that they are killing the flowers that we are supposed to be seeing in May. Not cool. So, we've been trying to take advantage of every warmer, sunny day we get by planning things outside. Since my last post, we've gone to the Zoo with N and A,

 

And took a trip to the playground with Grandma

Tried out Audia's new trike and played in the back yard with Grandma and Grandpa,

 And spent a good part of Easter playing in my parents back yard.

(among a few other un-photographed outings.) And while we have been having a lot of fun, it does feel like a bit of a tease. Especially for my poor Audia, who doesn't understand why we were outside playing in the warm sun on Monday and then yesterday and today we have to stay inside to play and put on our winter jackets when we go outside. Although I suppose it is a good lesson in flexibility.

30 weeks

I've said it a few times already, but I seriously can't believe how fast this pregnancy seems to be speeding by compared to my first. I'm already 3/4 of the way done, and that's assuming Callen sticks to his due date! (I have a gut feeling that he'll be early.) I am sure that a lot of it is because of how busy my life is with Audia, but I think part of it is also because I've been through it before. It is amazing how much more relaxed I am about things this time around, especially considering the fact that this pregnancy has been significantly harder for me physically. I can only imagine how much more relaxed I'll be in parenting Callen vs. Audia.

So, here I am at 30 weeks with Callen.

And here I was at 28 weeks with Audia.

Yah. BIG difference. I still, at 30 weeks, have not reached the weight I was at my 8 week appointment with Audia.

I've finished all of the projects that I wanted to get done before Callen's arrival well in advance of when I thought I would. I finally finished his blanket.

And I painted a canvas to put above his crib.

Audia, of course, wanted a canvas for her room, too, which I also did.

So now I'm out of projects 9 weeks ahead of schedule and am itching to find something new to tackle! Any suggestions? Having had something to keep my craft monster well-fed every day at nap time for the past 7 months, I suddenly feel lost without anything to work on!

In other news, Monday was the first time that we had to bring Audia into the doctor for an emergency consult. Considering that she's 2.5, and how distracted (I am trying very hard not to use the word c-l-u-t-z)she can be while running, that's pretty amazing. She tripped and nose-dove into the bench of a picnic table and I was certain that she broke her nose. No blood, but severe swelling and a healthy dose of bruising immediately after it happened. Luckily, the doc doesn't think it's broken, and though she said it would look worse before it looked better, it was looking much less bruised yesterday and today you can hardly tell that anything happened.

Spring finally seems to be shoving winter aside for good, so we have some fun outdoor stuff planned for the rest of the week and this weekend. Photos to follow :-)