2 Weeks

TWO WEEKS! I can't believe how fast the past 14 days have flown. Having Chris home the past two weeks has been such a treat. He really is such a wonderful, hands-on dad and amazing husband. I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to share my life, and our children, with such an incredible person.

Needless to say, I am totally bummed that he's back to work tomorrow. It will certainly be an adjustment for all of us! Luckily this time around we have family that lives super close, so my mom will be able to come help out if and when I need her to.

So far Callen is still a laid back baby. He definitely has his fussy periods, as all newborns do, but something as simple as his being able to sleep in his carseat is such a huge relief for us. I don't think we took Audia on a shopping trip for the first 6 months of her life because she would scream the entire time she was in her carseat. We only went someplace that required driving when we absolutely had to. If we needed to go shopping, only one of us would go. At the time, it was life as we knew it. This time around, it's not really an option to not take Callen anywhere, so his being "carseat friendly" (for lack of a better term) is beyond exciting. We've been able to get out to do things practically every day without any issue and he has slept through every single trip we've taken him on. I still brace myself for screaming every time we put him in the carseat, but hopefully that reflex will diminish with time. ;-)

We were lucky enough to be able to book a quick family portrait session with my friend, Megan, of Megan Norman Photography. As you can see, she is incredibly talented. I highly recommend her to anyone in MN looking for a portrait or event photographer!

Callen's been spending more and more time alert every day. I had forgotten how much newborns sleep!! It is so fun to see him trying to figure out the world around him. He loves to look at his sister, and watches her with the type of wonderment that can only be attributed to babies.

Audia still seems to be handling the whole thing pretty well. She definitely has had some struggles with adjusting to not having 100% of our attention on her 100% of the time, but thankfully she directs her frustrations at us (mainly by taking on the attitude of a disgruntled 13 year old) and not at her brother. She still is so sweet with Callen, giving him kisses and hugs and snuggles, and singing to him whenever he's fussing. She absolutely adores her brother. Check out the candid shots Chris got of her and him yesterday.

Overall, I would definitely say the vividity of the discomfort I was feeling the past 3 months of my pregnancy is already fading. It's certainly true that the mind...well, at least my mind....has a way of painting over the ugly parts of experiences and focusing on the good. I already am thinking I'd be willing to go through it all again. How could you not, when you get to snuggle and love on these two precious kiddos every single day??

He's Here!

After nine months of waiting and wondering and worrying and hoping, our little squeaker, Callen James, was born on June 11th, 2011 at 5:19 PM, weighing 9lbs, 8oz and measuring 21.5 inches long.

I woke up around 5 am on Saturday and was unable to fall back asleep (not an anomally at this point in my pregnancy.) so I got up and putzed around online for a while. Around 5:15 I started having contractions that were significantly different from the Braxton Hicks that I had been having for week (it is definitely true, at least for me, that you just know when you're in labor.), so I started timing them and they were 5 minutes apart off the bat. After about 45 minutes, I called the doc on call and was told to go to the hospital. We dropped Audia off at my parents house and made our way to the hospital, where they monitored me for about an hour and a half before admitting me. While my progression was very slow, my contractions were regular and with VBACs they don't take any chances.
To say that this labor and delivery were different from my first would be an enormous understatement. It was night and day! With Audia, things progressed slowly, then extremely quickly, and then stalled for 6 hours before ending in a cesarean. They had to break my water, the epidural only worked on half of my body, and Audia got stuck in a "sunny side-up" position, which caused me to get stuck at 9.5 cm and hyper-contract for 6 hours. With Callen, things progressed slowly but steadily. My water broke on it's own, the epidural worked the way it is supposed to, and I labored for a total of 11 hours and pushed for 40 minutes. While I would never describe labor and delivery over all as being an easy thing to do or go through, comparitively, this time around it was a piece of cake. I would go as far as to say that I actually enjoyed it. I was actually able to enjoy my time in the hospital, to nap, to watch tv, to laugh and joke around with my husband.....all things that after about hour 2 with Audia's labor, were completely out of the question. And the recovery, of course, has been a dream comparitively. Of course I am stiff and sore, but I was able to get up out of bed on my own without assistance a mere couple of hours after delivering! Compare that to about 2 and a half days with the cesarean. Not to mention there are no restrictions on how much I can lift, or on driving, or pain when I laugh, cough, or sneeze.....If you can't tell, I am thrilled-beyond thrilled-that I was able to have a successful VBAC (and that, as a result, I can definitely deliver vaginally in the future!)

As for Callen, he is absolutely perfect! He is just a perfect little peanut, and we are all (Audia included) completely in love with him. He's been a champion eater and pooper from the get go, and so far is a very relaxed baby. Audia came to see us at the hospital on Sunday morning, and from the get go has been an absolutely amazing sister to him. She is so gentle, and interested, and in adoration of her baby brother! She calles him "my baby Callen" and she gives him her toys, talks to him, snuggles him, and gives him hugs and kisses. She loves to help us with him, and to hold him in her lap. I was really worried that once we got him home, she would quickly tire of, and become jealous of the attention we are giving him. Thankfully, so far she's seeming to take everything in stride, and while of course there are moments that she wants us to put him down to pick her up or to drop what we are doing to play with her, she has overall been very understanding and patient. An ideal big sister to say the least!

Our first couple of days getting to know our little squishy squeaker have been wonderful. So far, Callen is an extremely easy-going baby. He rarely wakes, let alone fusses, when we put him in his basinette, and he was perfectly content in his car seat the entire ride home from the hospital (much unlike his sister, who hated being restrained in any way, shape, or form pretty much from the day she was born.) He, of course, still has his days and his nights mixed up, and Chris and I are trying to remember how to work shifts with breastfeeding, but the truth is I'd much rather be snuggling with my little man than sleeping anyhow. I had forgotton how insanely soft and squishy newborns are! Audia still has super soft skin, but newborn skin takes soft to a whole new level. And then those are those short, fleeting periods of 5-10 minutes when he is awake and alert and obviously trying to figure out where the heck he is and what is going on....those melt-your-heart moments where he meets your gaze and holds it. Not to mention watching him sleep and seeing all the funny faces he makes when he's dreaming. Needless to say, we are definitely in a state of euphorically sleepless new-baby bliss. Welcome, baby Callen! We are so happy that you are finally here!!

The week of big decisions

So, in my last post I referred to another big decision that we were making this week, but didn't include any details. Finally I can talk about the craziness that's been going on for the past month! Woohoo!

About a month ago, Chris got a call from a headhunter who had gotten his contact info from a guy that Chris met at a networking luncheon over a year ago. This headhunter was looking for someone to fill an IT project manager position for a small IT firm downtown. Let me be sure to preface this by saying that Chris was in no way looking for another job; he is very happy where he is, has great relationships with everyone that he works with and for, and genuinely likes his job. Plus, he's only been there a year and got a great annual review and impressive increase already. That said, the headhunter proposed an informational phone interview - nothing too serious - and he figured it couldn't hurt just to find out about the job and company to see if it was something he'd be interested in. Well, that informational interview turned into three more interviews over the span of three weeks, each making the position sound more and more like not only something that Chris would be great at and enjoy, but also making the company and the people he would be working with and for look more and more like they would be a great fit as well. In the midst of these three weeks, the company that Chris currently works for posted two internal lead positions in his department, one of which he also applied and interviewed for. And all of this less than a month before Callen's due. Talk about crazy timing.

Long story short, Chris got an amazing offer from the company downtown. The type of offer that you simply can't turn down because it is that good. The type of offer that surprised both of us because while we had talked about the possibility that it could be that much, we never expected it to actually be that much. So Chris told his boss about it, and that we couldn't turn it down, especially with a second child on the way. Chris' boss told him that Chris had gotten the lead position he applied for internally and that he would do everything in his power to provide a counter-offer that would convince him to stay. Now, I've always known that my hubby is an amazing, wonderful, talented, dependable human being, but to have that reiterated by two companies pulling out all the stops to get him makes my heart sing because I really don't think that he realizes how amazing, wonderful, talented, and dependable he is.
His current employer provided a counter offer that, while not quite as amazing as the offer from the company downtown, is certainly enough to get him to stay. We spent forever going over numbers and then trying to put a price on things that can't be bought, such as the stability and relationships and rapport that he already has at his current company. The icing on the cake is how gracious the other company was in hearing that he was turning down their offer. Certainly no burned bridges, and if anything some great people in the industry to keep in touch with. And to think that just over a year ago, Chris had been out of work and searching for a year!

39 Weeks

39 weeks yesterday. And what a week it's been! Lots of changes and big decisions being made at our house, though some will need to be kept under wraps for another day or two. But, still no Callen. I had my 39 week appointment today and have had no progress since Thursday. Plenty of braxton hicks contractions, but apparently they are not doing much of anything, which is frustrating to say the least. Chris and I spent a while after my appointment deliberating over whether or not we want to wait another week or keep our scheduled C-section for tomorrow. Ultimately, we decided to wait another week. I really, really, really do not want to have surgery if we can avoid it, and both my pubic symphysis and SI pain has been managable for the past week, so I would rather wait it out and hope he comes on his own than have surgery and the 6 week recovery that goes along with it. That said, June 15th is the ultimate deadline for his arrival at this point. Hopefully he'll come before then.
This waiting and wondering and hoping surrounding not only the when but the how of Callen's arrival combined with the waiting and hoping and weighing of options surrounding this other potential big change in our lives has me more exhausted emotionally than I can even begin to say. Ultimately, everything is for the best, and I am very grateful that everything on both fronts is going as well as it is, but that doesn't change the fact that my patience is being tested to the most extreme extent it probably ever has before. Too bad I can't go to sleep and wake up when it's all over!

38 Weeks

So I was 38 weeks yesterday. Here's a photo of me now.

And here's one when I was 38 weeks with Audia.

At this point I've gained 40 lbs (*GASP!*) But I am still only ten pounds heavier now than I was when I was 8 weeks with Audia. And, I gained 42 lbs when I was pregnant with Audia, so I'm not worried about it (nor is my doctor.)

Thankfully, the pain has been decreasing daily since I injured my pubic symphysis, and I can actually walk with more stiffness than pain these days. I am hopeful that when I go in for my appointment on Thursday, we'll be able to cancel the scheduled ceserean and change it to a scheduled induction, but we'll see. We got a ton of cleaning/rearranging/purging done this weekend so I am feeling even more ready and anxious for Callen's arrival. I know I've said it before, but it is so funny how much more relaxed I am feeling about everything this time around. We'll see how relaxed I am in a few weeks, though, right?

Our Big Girl

Call me crazy, but I decided last week to try (again) to potty train Audia. Yes, I know it is only a couple of weeks before my due date, and most likely she will regress when Callen gets here, but I figured if we can get it even partially mastered before his arrival, then it will be easier to finish the job later this summer, and before she starts preschool this fall.

Let me preface this by saying that we have been trying, without being too pushy about it, to potty train her for MONTHS now. But to say that our daughter is strong-willed is not only repetitive, it's an understatement, and she was flat out refusing to have anything at all to do with the potty each time we brought it up. Her pediatrician said not to push the issue because that could delay progress, so after a couple times of her refusing to even sit on the thing, we would give up for a week or two. I was beginning to get distressed about it because we found a preschool that we really, really like but that she can't attend if she isn't potty trained.

Thanks to some key advice from my BFF N, as of today she is mostly potty trained! I started potty training on Friday morning. By that afternoon, she had peeing on the potty mastered, and hasn't had an accident with it since! Yesterday was the first day she pooped on the potty, but considering that I've read that pooping can take weeks or even months to happen after peeing, a few days of needing changes is nothing! And what was the magical piece of advice that N had to give me? No pull ups. Go straight to panties. Sure enough, the first time Audia wet herself in her panties, she had a coniption fit. The second time she wet herself was the last time. She definitely is highly motivated by being able to, and being praised for, doing things by herself, so I am hoping that the pooping on the potty continues.

In other big girl news, the sleeping issues we were having a few weeks ago are totally gone now. We can easily put her in bed, without any whining or complaining or making millions of excuses to get us back in her room. She sleeps through the night 99% of the time, and even if she does wake up now, which is seldom, she will turn on her ocean sound by herself and go back to sleep.

It is crazy to me how you can essentially watch a toddler's brain growing. There is definitely a cycle to emotional and intellectual growth just like there are cycles with physical growth. And Audia continues to demonstrate for us that she will do things at her own pace, in her own way. We just have to be patient, nurturing, and supportive and she pretty much figures it all out on her own. I always knew that this applied to raising older children, but I am constantly amazed at how much it also applies to toddlers and even infants. There is no forcing a child to do anything before they are ready. And really, I think that overall children teach us far more than we could ever teach them.

So close and yet so far....

Well, Callen officially reached 'full term' status on Monday (which was, coincidentally, also my birthday.) So, from here on out he is technically good to go anytime he decides to grace us with his presence. To say that I am eager for his arrival is a vast understatement. As of Tuesday, the vastness of that understatement has been multiplied by about 5,000.

I have both read and been told by multiple doctors that ligament laxity issues are more common among taller women. Add to that my own personal inclination towards having lax ligaments when not pregnant, and I guess in some ways getting pregnant is just asking for trouble. Of course that's not going to stop me from wanting to and having a family, but it does make a little voice in my head say "Stop your whining. You knew this was a possibility." And, truth be told, even going through this in the moment, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. There is no pain in the world that is not worth experiencing for the joy of having children. That said, I apparently have managed to now injure my pubic symphysis. How? By bending over to fix my shoe. I know; talented, aren't I?

So, my SI issues, which have actually been much better in the past week, have now been replaced by the inability to move my legs independently from one another without pain. Everything from getting into and out of bed to rolling over to putting on my pants to walking hurts.  My doc says that this type of injury can take months to heal simply due to where it is and the fact that you use your pubic symphysis for so much. Delivery should help with the pain and healing because then I won't have the weight of baby and the super-laxity of my joints to compound the problem. If I were working, she would put me on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy simply due to my extremely limited mobility. She added that because I am having a VBAC, I can't be induced, so she will tentatively schedule a C-section for the 6th with hopes that I will go into labor on my own before then.

The hardest part of all of this for me is the combination of not being able to do anything to fix the problem and not knowing when it'll all be over. I feel better having a solid date on the calendar; I've said all along that I would much rather have the time to emotionally prepare for a repeat C-section than to have to have another emergency surgery, but at the same time there is a huge disappointment that there is a chance that I won't be able to have a VBAC. On the flip side, I could go into labor tonight for all I know. I realize that the 6th is only two and a half weeks out....it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. But for me, it feels like forever. Mainly because I feel like the theme of this pregnancy has been pain-induced limited mobility.

Add to that the extreme guilt because I literally cannot take my sweetheart of a daughter outside to play, and I am an emotional wreck. With the SI issues, at least I could wear the belt and monitor how much time I was spending walking around to try to keep the pain that I would feel the following day to a minimum. With this, walking itself is painful so there's no doing something one day knowing that I will have to pay for it the next day....the pain is immediate, limiting my mobility even more than before. I can't even begin to explain how hard it is for me to have to explain to Audia for the fifth time today that yes, honey, it is a nice day outside, but Mommy can't walk so we have to stay inside. Thankfully my mom is close by if I need her, but with her physical limitations I would rather only use her help when I really truly need it, like when I go into labor and once Callen is here.

Dearest Callen, please come soon........