November 17, 2011

If I could put time in a bottle....

Yes, I did just quote a super corny song. But the words ring true. There is something about having a second child that really puts time in perspective. It definitely gets put into perspective with one, but then when number two comes along for whatever reason it really solidifies things. With number one, phases seem to drag on because you don't know how long they will last and you're not really sure what the heck you're doing. With two, you know from experience that everything is fleeting and you get more of a chance to truly cherish the moment and mourn the moment's passing.

Callen is doing this thing lately where, after a feed, he'll nuzzle his face into my neck, close his eyes, and make pterodactyl noises. It's this half squawk/half groan sound that he'll make for a few minutes as he falls asleep on my chest. To anyone else it is probably the most irritating sound on the planet, but for me it is the sweetest noise in the world. And it brings tears to my eyes, knowing that in a few weeks chances are he won't be doing it anymore. I would give anything to be able to put those moments in a bottle and keep them, to be able to re-live them whenever I please.

And the same goes for Audia; she is at a stage of her life where she is testing and asserting independence, but she still has this fierce need for our closeness, both physically and emotionally. I do everything I can, in those moments that she climbs into my lap or into bed with me in the morning to snuggle, to just breathe her in and enjoy it. Because goodness knows it will be all-too-soon that she won't need me in that way nearly as often as she does now.

My babies are growing up. And they won't ever stop. I love it and I hate it.