39 Weeks

39 weeks yesterday. And what a week it's been! Lots of changes and big decisions being made at our house, though some will need to be kept under wraps for another day or two. But, still no Callen. I had my 39 week appointment today and have had no progress since Thursday. Plenty of braxton hicks contractions, but apparently they are not doing much of anything, which is frustrating to say the least. Chris and I spent a while after my appointment deliberating over whether or not we want to wait another week or keep our scheduled C-section for tomorrow. Ultimately, we decided to wait another week. I really, really, really do not want to have surgery if we can avoid it, and both my pubic symphysis and SI pain has been managable for the past week, so I would rather wait it out and hope he comes on his own than have surgery and the 6 week recovery that goes along with it. That said, June 15th is the ultimate deadline for his arrival at this point. Hopefully he'll come before then.
This waiting and wondering and hoping surrounding not only the when but the how of Callen's arrival combined with the waiting and hoping and weighing of options surrounding this other potential big change in our lives has me more exhausted emotionally than I can even begin to say. Ultimately, everything is for the best, and I am very grateful that everything on both fronts is going as well as it is, but that doesn't change the fact that my patience is being tested to the most extreme extent it probably ever has before. Too bad I can't go to sleep and wake up when it's all over!