Growing up is something you can measure*.....

The past few weeks have been a lot better than the past couple of months have been. Audia's streak of tyranny seems to be pretty much over (for now, anyways) and it's been such a joy to be able to enjoy my sweet, helpful, silly, curious, and crazy-smart little girl again. It has not only been a reminder that so many things kids go through are just phases, but also has been an eye opener to how each of those phases is an integral part of growing up. It has also reiterated what I already know about her: that she is, at her core, a compassionate, passionate, determined, emotive and inquisitive person. I have to remind myself fairly frequently that she is only 3 because she seems so mature for her age in so many ways. Where she's been making up songs basically since she could talk, just recently these songs have started to rhyme. She can do simple addition and subtraction in her head without even thinking about it (just this morning she said "I had five big bites of cereal, mom." To which I replied "Ok, take three more bites," and she said "but that's 8 big bites, mom! That's a lot.") And she is amazingly in tune with her brother's needs. If I ever am not sure why Callen is being fussy, I can ask her why she thinks he isn't happy and she is right 99% of the time. She is growing up so fast, sometimes it actually hurts to think about. But at the same time that my heart aches in knowing that she'll be a teenager before we know it, it swells with pride at the incredible person that she is and is becoming.

Callen is also growing like a weed. Not just physically (he's in 12 month sized clothing already!!!) but developmentally as well. We've had to set up baby gates around the 'safe area' in our living room/play room because he's gotten so quick with his army crawl. He can now get from lying down to sitting up all on his own. And his personality is shining through more as the days go on. He definitely has the same silly side as his sister (and mom and dad!); He will crawl up to a person and grab their foot, looking up them with a smile on his face before biting their big toe (which is only funny until he actually bites down....his 6 teeth don't feel so great on the tootsies!) He'll crawl towards something he knows he's not supposed to touch and look back at you to see if you notice. If you say "Callen, you can't have that," he'll giggle and then start crawling faster towards it so that you have to chase him, and when you finally grab him he'll laugh even harder. He grabs both sides of my face and pulls my chin to his mouth, giggling the whole time as if to say "I'm gonna eat choo!" And he LOVES playing peek-a-boo with his sister; I don't think anyone can make him laugh as hard as she can! He is also incredibly sweet. He loves to snuggle and he gives the best hugs, wrapping both little arms around my neck and pulling my whole face into his belly in a tight little squeeze. He loves making noise; banging toys together and slapping my hand or the hard wood floor at my parents' house.

I wish there were a way, beyond photography and videography and blogging, to capture the essence of who my kids are at different stages in their lives. Hopefully by the time I'm old and decrepit there will be a way to tap into and relive your memories. One can hope :-)

*These are lyrics from a song that's in the second Care Bears movie. Audia is beyond obsessed and we find ourselves singing this song way more than anyone ever should.....

Imperfection

It's no secret the blog's been on the back burner lately. Some of it is because we've been busy, and I haven't had much free time. But to be honest, most of it is because things have been significantly less than 'perfect' around here and when I have had free time, the last thing I've felt like doing is blogging about the imperfection that is my life. But then I read this. And this. And then this. And finally, this. And I feel a little bit better about admitting to the imperfection. It's not that I think my life, my children, or I should be perfect. But I do have expectations that are regularly let down. There is a perfectionistic side to me that, while I've mostly put her in a box in the closet, likes to poke her head out every once in a while to annoy me. And I frequently catch myself being far more hard on myself about things than I would ever be on anyone else. Which is normal, but only to a degree. And only so often. So I am working on breathing. On being easier on myself. On taking a step back when I feel like I'm floundering. The only person that can control how I percieve a situation is myself. But I am also allowing myself to feel frustrated when I am telling myself I should 'just be grateful.' Everyone is on their own life path, and to compare paths is not only pointless but dangerous. Being a mom is a full time job. There are no breaks. Ever. And I am working on being OK with feeling like it's too much sometimes instead of feeling guilty for it. I know there are people who would give anything to be in my shoes, but that doesn't mean that I should just ignore the blisters. And I know that there is a delicate balance; if you allow too much negativity into your life, you'll become overrun by it. But there cannot be rainbows without rain, so I'm letting in a shower or two here and there. And you know what? I think it's working. I am finding that in allowing myself to feel frustrated or overwhelmed, I get through those feelings more quickly than if I tell myself I shouldn't feel that way and try to stifle them. I am embracing the imperfection. Because really, perfection would be utterly boring.

Callen at 7 months

7 months! No well check this month, so stats are approximate, but I'm measuring him at 21 lbs on the nose and 30 inches long! Granted he is quite the squirmy wormy these days, so getting his length is a bit challenging to say the least. He has all four of his front teeth now. The top right came in around Christmas and the top left took the longest of all his teeth by far, starting around New Years and just breaking through a couple of days ago. I always think babies look so funny when their teeth are just starting to come through, probably because it looks like their teeth are chipped or something. He kind of reminds me of an old black-and-white movie hobo. You know, the kind that carries one of those hankercheif sacks on a stick. LOL.

Just this week, he finally figured out how to pull himself forward using his arms, army-crawl style. He also has just recently started getting up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. He still isn't super keen on sitting. He'll do it, sometimes for a minute or two at a time, but only if there is absolutely nothing of interest in his line of sight. If he sees a toy or his sister or the cat, he immediately falls to his side, rolls to his belly, and starts trying to get whatever it is that has caught his eye.

He's also still not very interested in eating baby food. He starts out strong, usually opening his mouth for 2 or 3 bites, but then clamps up. I think we might try some cubed, steamed fruits and veggies this weekend. I have a feeling he might be more interested if it's something that he can put into his mouth himself.

Personality-wise, our little laid back sweetie is still that. He loves to 'flirt' with people, smiling at them and then looking away, just to look again a second later and see if you're still smiling. I wish I were more eloquent these days; there are little nuances about his personality that I yearn to put to words but am having a hard time finding the words for. He is just this sweet, silly, curious, clever, funny, engaging, little man, and I love him more than words!